My mornings more often than not begin with the word ‘Mom’ and my evenings more often than not also end with the same word ‘Mom’. Did I tell you the word resonates throughout my house and comes from every possible direction! How much of stress is put on the word and how loud a volume it is pitched at each time depends on the situation I have to intervene and mediate on.
Yeah, you’ve gotten it absolutely right. I’m a Mom and most of my days involve handling ground breaking, earth shattering and course of the world changing situations as well as implementing peace keeping measures and life-saving interventions to ensure that peace sometimes ensues on the Western Front!
Have I ever told you, that the sense of urgency in these matters escalate to be a million times higher in the few odd minutes I make the brave and heartless decision to enter the four walls of the bathroom unaccompanied!
My ‘Mom’ journey has included three pregnancies, three wonderful bundles of joy and three very different reactions to them. From being shocked at my first for happening so quickly after tying the knot, to nodding sagely at my second and to having the guts to insinuate that my third was an accident that should not have happened! If it were up to me, these people would have been idling their time, swinging their legs high up in an urn somewhere! But rules of good and acceptable social conduct intervened. They lived, and I got to write this blog!
But being a Mom and mummying around has changed me forever, I’d like to think. To be honest, on some days I feel as though I was born a Mom. Life before children seems to be a dream or a Utopia at best. These are just a few of the lessons the ‘Mom’ word has taught me!
1. Being a Mom, has unleashed in me some form of overpowering animal instinct to protect my children and stand up for them at any cost. Hell, hath no fury like a mother whose children are scorned. And a good twelve years into parenting, I’ve learnt to stick up for my children. I don’t really turn into a screaming lunatic banshee, but I’ve learnt to put my point across firmly.
From being a total introvert speaking to my own self, motherhood has transformed me into a sort of extrovert who will speak her mind when push comes to shove. You just have to move your ass and make some Mom friends when the social life of your kids depend on you saying the first ‘Hello’.
So dry voice, blank mind and shaking hands or not, I have learnt to sometimes swallow the nervousness rising in the pit of my stomach and stand up, smile, make eye contact and find new Mom friends! Though I’ve learnt to draw the line at having communal play dates at ours. A few errors in forethought have left my house looking like a ruin groaning in the aftermath of an onslaught of a combination of a tornado and a hurricane.
2. I have learnt to not be ashamed of the choices I have made. And no, I am also not ashamed at having opted for an epidural two times out of three. Being a Mom, I have realized that the choices I make, the steps I take, the actions I enact and words I say will all be absorbed at astonishing speed. To be fair, I can’t do very much about the actions and words part of it. A Mom’s patience has it’s limits and so long as they have not been blurted out publicly or in front of the in-laws I’ve made my peace with the fact that my kids know some not so great vocabulary.
But in all seriousness, I try to show and teach my children through my own life to never take any nonsense, not stand for any wrong doing and hopefully not succumb to peer pressure. They know that they have an ardent admirer and fan in me who loves them unconditionally and I’ve taught them in turn to love themselves for who they are provided they don’t turn into egoistic maniacs!
3. I’ve learnt that grocery store lists can be healthy when jotted down, but it’s actual implementation will always include a multitude of snacks. Which brings me to one important conclusion and a new rule at ours, it’s OK to forget the carrots, potatoes or broccoli but NEVER NEVER forget the SNACKS! Our bloody sanity and peace depend on it!
I’ve also learnt that the words ‘Mom, please’ always end in ‘more snack’. A kid who was bursting at the seams full a second ago ravenously devours a packet of crisps!
4. What can’t be found in the house is always found in the car. The incessant ‘Mom’ calls for a missing shoe, homework diary, book, pencil…you get the picture more or less every single damn thing that is absent has a very simple answer. And the answer is, ‘the car’ or more specifically ‘my car’. My hubby’s car looks as though its interior has descended from a whole other planet! Hell, if he had his way he’d get us to all sit with our feet a few inches above the floor of the car.
5. Toys are always attractive as long as they haven’t been bought. The multi million calls for ‘Mom’, ‘Mom please’ and ‘Mom pleeease’ for a particular toy actually find their culmination in the box and pages of instruction. The toy is given a celebrity status and place of honor for 24 odd hours after it comes home. Thereafter it finds its fate under the bed, behind the sofa, inside the folds of the mattress and yes, even in the car along with the rest of its comrades!
6. Things like ‘being on time’ and ‘Us’ are not determined to be best friends. Yes, I can get up early. I can get ready on time. But someone in the family is predestined to have a meltdown or a poopalanche or have views that are diametrically opposed to mine! It’s just not in the stars for us.
7. The shrill pitch of the word ‘Mom’ gets shriller the closer it comes to the ears. And if you ever make the mistake of asking them to call their sibling then you’ll soon see that no geographical or spacial mobility ever takes place at any point of time. They simply stand where they had stood and shout out to their sibling at the top of their voices. And does the sibling come running. The short painful answer is: No.
So there, I’ve just given you a sneak preview of what the ‘Mom’ train is like at ours. But yes, ‘Mom’ that is ‘me’ is definitely a sentence that shall come stand before them each and every time a question mark is placed, an exclamation mark is uttered or a line break inserted.
But there are also times, when the incessant ‘Mom’ rants are followed by the most innocent and purest words ‘I Love You’ and ‘Hug Time’. And these moments make all the rants faint into the oblivion. At least until the next momentous occasion.
And, the noise of their footsteps running down the stairs and chasing one another make my house a home and I pray that the sound of these steps never falls silent. I pray that I can hold on to time a bit harder and make it stand still, so my fast-growing children can be my babies for a few seconds longer!